I remembered this afternoon that today marks 8 years that I have been dipping my toes in the blogosphere.
Of course, since I am hardly a blogger anymore, I almost Facebooked: “Oh, shit, I almost missed my blogiversary!” And then the tiny percentage of people there who don’t know that I blog would go: “What?” And I’d say: “Ruh-roh, don’t tell…oh, never mind.”
But I did have this weird epiphany now that it’s 2014. This year, in just under six months, Miss M is going to be 10.
I have no idea why this is hitting me so hard. I mean, on the last day of 2013 it was pretty much exactly the same – in just under six months, my oldest child will turn 10.
But suddenly it is almost upon me, and it feels positively freighted. Perhaps because I remember what a big deal it was for me to go to “double digits.” It’s how the average person spends most of his or her life. There are terribly sad stories of children who don’t make it to 10, and unusual stories of people who live into their second century (we recently lost Taxman’s grandma at age 101), but 10 to 99 is a huge number of years.
So my child is twirling her way to the end of her first decade. It is awesome and terrifying.
At some point we will have to start thinking about her Bat Mitzvah. That’s a lie, of course; I have been thinking about it for ages. It will be so hard to try to encapsulate her in a short series of moments, when she’s wearing a fancy dress, or giving a speech. I want it to be a real commitment: study and service and a creative reflection of her. I’m afraid she will want it to be an ordinary party. She’s so UN-ordinary – so that would be a crime.
We have time, but now that we’ve turned the corner to 2014, it’s all speeding up. First 10, then 12, then into the unknown future.
Luckily, I rarely have the space for such reflection, as there seems to be an endless flow of laundry, meals, and office supply requests. And chauffeuring. For now I will meditate on the everyday and let things slide. At least for a bit longer.