Defiant 4.5 year old (girl). Huge vat of gel to tame curly tresses incl. Simplify your shopping list! Willing to eat a diet consisting solely of Cheerios (with dried cranberries), plain pasta, and avocado sandwiches, with occasional vanilla yogurt. Must be willing to repeat simple directives a minimum of 600 times before they are followed. Tuition paid through the end of the school year–a steal!
Also: Imitative (therefore also defiant), parrot-like 2.5 year old boy. Will take upon himself to punish wrongdoers. Has been known to throw toys, but easily subdued with Clifford, the Big Red Dog. Given to fits of wildness when tired, but gives good hugs. Brand-new sneakers (blue) incl.