I have no idea how this happened.
My kids are pretty big eaters, when it comes to things they like, and I have to have a pretty full stable of snacks to keep the chowhounds happy. I dole them out in reasonable portions, insist on a lot of fruit and veggies, and try to get a well balanced meal into them at least once a day.
I always joke that “I am Ema, Keeper of Snack,” because I get snack requests from the second we get somewhere, even if it’s only been 20 minutes since breakfast, even if we’re going to the backyard, a stressful jaunt of maybe three minutes.
Now, however, my kids are inventing things. Hallucinating really. Like yesterday at Costco. Taxman called in sick so I could spend the morning holding my pounding head and wishing for death, but by the afternoon I felt ok. We had a long list–and they did not have Cheerios! At some point, to prevent AM from licking the cart (ew, ew, ew!), I handed him the list. He pretended to read from it in his cute little voice. “Seeweal, canbehrees, mihk.” Then he shot me a look, “Appuhl juice!”
“Apple juice?” I asked. We almost never have apple juice in the house. It is, after all, toddler crack, and there are much better things to drink: water, milk, or AM’s new infatuation, soymilk.
He nodded, “Appuhl juice!”
“Let me see the list,” I joked. “Where do you see apple juice?”
“He-yah.” He pointed to somewhere between diapers and paper towels.
“Sorry,” I said, “no juice today.” But really, extra points for Teh Cute.
Then this morning I drove carpool. Miss M and her bestest pal A were in the third row of the van, when I hear, “A, do you want to come over after school for doughnuts?”
“Miss M,” I called back, “we don’t have doughnuts! A is welcome to come over after school, but there are no doughnuts.”
“But I like doughnuts,” she explained.
“I know,” I said. “But we don’t have them all the time. They are for special occasions, like last Sunday when Ema ran her race.*”
And then AM piped up, “Doughnuts, me? Me doughnuts!”
“AM, I’m sorry. We don’t have any. Your sister is hallucinating.”
Then the light turned green and everyone, thankfully, was distracted by the heavy construction equipment tearing up the street and slowing our way to school.
* A bribe to get the kids out of bed and convince her to get dressed before breakfast, which is not the usual ritual around here.