My grandmother and uncle were raging alcoholics. And vomit is, by far, my absolute least favorite bodily fluid. So two excellent reasons not to drink.
But at the end of an afternoon like I had today, I needed something to sink into and let go. Pizza for dinner was nice, admittedly, but it wasn’t too much of a stretch for a Thursday night.
Anyway, this afternoon three adults attempted to wrangle four children into some semi-professional photos (Target photo studio). I shall begin at the beginning, though.
- I bathed the kids after lunch and put them in their “photo clothes.” As we walked out I reminded Miss M not to run, for fear that she’d fall and get her new cream-colored shirt dirty. Five feet from the car she started to run, tripped on her sandals, and fell, scraping BOTH knees. I raided the EMT bag in the trunk for bandaids. Yes, INDEED, they are in the photos.
- At Target, AM got whiny and clingy and refused to smile. My niece, who can’t sit up yet, commando crawled out of every frame for 20 minutes, then started to cry. My nephew and Miss M did ok, with reminders approximately every 90 seconds about the lollipops awaiting them.
- We then had to wait for the single photo studio employee to prep the proofs, including all the crazy stuff they do (sepia tones, weird borders, cheesy messages–“We love you!”). And then choose what we wanted. The photos were, well, ok. We got nice individual shots of everyone and a good-enough pose of the four kids, but the brother-sister pairs were pretty awful. Especially after yesterday, when I got the CUTEST photos of my kids at the beach,* with everyone looking relaxed and happy; in one of the frames from today, AM is backing away from Miss M as if she’s trying to give him some communicable disease.
- In the course of waiting, my kids ate their snack in about 0.4 seconds and then were acting like lunatics. Somehow my brother-in-law managed to corral everyone into a game of “I Spy.” But there came a point when I was thinking of NOT chasing AM into the electronics department and just seeing what happened.
- Total time in Target: 1h42m.
- As we got to the car, I realized AM had pooped. And some of it had missed the diaper and was on his jeans. Change of shirt available, but no pants. Did I mention we were going to be late to get the extended family to a playdate in my neighborhood?
- Went through the cash lanes at the GW Bridge but was so frazzled I neglected to indicate carpool. ARGH! Could have saved six dollars!
- One pair of shorts later, we went to pick up our CSA share. Parked several blocks away from the pickup site. As we were tumbling out of the car, Miss M announced she had to pee. Indeed. Nothing around but a tree. Attempting to get AM’s shoes on, I didn’t have her strip down entirely. Mistake. Pee on skirt. So we dragged into the synagogue social hall with 4-year-old sans bottoms. “I have nothing on my legs,” she complained, until I pointed out it’s like a bathing suit. I really hope by the time this is wildly (as opposed to mildly) inappropriate she has better squatting abilities.
- At 6:30, we arrived home to no dinner. “Let’s have a picnic in the backyard!” I yelped. “Avocado sandwiches and chocolate milk and strawberries!”
- I pulled it off. We stayed outside until 7:30. Summer is really great sometimes.
- Now it is late, I have only managed to make two items for shabbat, and I have to go to the gym tomorrow.
Please send a virtual amaretto sour.
* Facebook profile photo of the moment.