That pretty much sums me up lately.
- Last week I took both kids to the doctor. Random bits of fever, sporadic complaints of sore throat, eat tugging, strep throat sweeping wildly through preschool. No strep, no ear infection. But two days later AM was back. Still feverish, not eating, cranky as hell. Guess what? Return of coxsackievirus, but the version where your throat hurts so much you don’t eat or drink for three days. So that was scary, and the one time I really wished I knew how much liquid he was getting when he was nursing, because that and cold cow’s milk was pretty much all he consumed.
- Oh, but also decaf iced coffee and a donut from Dunkin’ Donuts. I looked like the Worst Mother in the World ™, pouring coffee into his straw sippy cup (I KNOW! Full of BPAs!) and letting him scarf down a donut, but I swear that was the only thing he ate in its entirety all day. The next day I got him to eat a few grapes and two bites of sweet potato.
- In the middle of All That, my mom and stepdad arrived to visit.
- They stayed for five nights. The apartment seemed much smaller with two extra adults, but they were happy to read to the kids, take them to the park, or help with bathtime. So that was very nice.
- I was constantly worried about the next meal. Truthfully, during the week and during the day, I kind of eat whatever. A yogurt here, bowl of cereal there, cheese and crackers and baby carrots for lunch if that’s what I can grab. The kids are thrilled with a cheese stick and a tortilla, nuked peas and corn on the side, and would eat pasta every day if I let them. My parents do not eat like this–my stepdad eats low carb, which is kind of the opposite of us. We kind of intersect at fish and veggies and brown rice. Not bad, or hard, but not exactly as easy as pasta and salad. And fewer leftovers.
- There are a lot of days when Miss M does not want to go to school. Still. There are only 4 weeks left. I feel terrible–like I have failed her for making her stick it out in a class that she still hasn’t warmed to. (Of course, the only real alternative would have been no school at all this year, and that would have been unhealthy for us both.) I realized yesterday that her teacher is unnecessarily strict and sometimes just really not nice. Not abusive, but I would like my baby to have some TLC– at least someone to get down to her level and try to meet her halfway when she is tired and something is bothering her. I feel like someone who has been teaching 3 year olds for 10 years should make it look easier or better and be warmer and more lovely than me, who has never had a 3 year old before this one.
- AM is really trying to make some words. I can see that not too far away he will be calling me Ema and Taxman Abba (he can say “ahhhh-bah!” but won’t apply it to the person) and Miss M some version of her name. And it is awful to say, but I will really miss him padding around the house yelling “MA!” (for me) “BA!” (for Taxman) or “YA!” (for Miss M). He is really scrumptious, when he’s not throwing his damn trains at my head.
- Speaking of AM, he has his own numbering system. One equals one, two equals two, and three equals more-than-two. He has his own signs for all of these. It’s fun to play with.
- The freelance assignment that I have hanging over my head got modified and extended. Good because there is much to do. Bad because it is eating my brain. Engineers: good people, but most of them cannot write a lick. At least the ones whose writing I see.
- The in-between fruit and vegetable season is killing me. I want tomatoes and blueberries. NOW. (Please.)