Jonniker is someone I follow on twitter. She’s funny and wry and clearly is smarter than the baby fog I think she’s sometimes trapped in. Good lord, we have all been there, right?
So when she posted this, I found myself nodding so vigorously I got a neck cramp.
I struggle with the idea that I have had the world at my feet. I went to an excellent university, and blew off my mom’s advice about taking a well-rounded curriculum in favor of not one, but two, utterly useless degrees. I could have been anything I wanted! But I didn’t feel smart enough to get through chem lab. I didn’t feel motivated enough to really apply myself, because I couldn’t imagine what would make me jump out of bed in the morning, desperate to go to work. Unless it was reading books for a living, which…fresh out of careers there.
(I am unsure that my mom ever got over that she broke out of the nurse-social worker-teacher mold, and then I sat on my sorry ass whining, “I don’t know what I want to do with my life!” Luckily, my brother is off being international and fabulous and exotic and gainfully employed. So, one out of two isn’t bad.)
Although I found it so difficult in a lot of ways, I am thrilled that I got to stay home with my kids. But now I am 37 and trying to make a career. Part-time, of course, because these people? Still need full time parenting. I still wonder what will be in 10 years, when they don’t want to talk to me, like ever, and I hypothetically will need to dress like a grownup and talk to grownups about grownup things. Scary.
I am ok with not making headlines, being comfortable, being content in my little corner of the universe.
Of course, where I diverge from Jonniker is that my daughter could not be more different. She has been charting her course since age 2 at least. She wants no lessons in being average and happy with her lot. She believes she was born to be extraordinary and believes that the world will bend to her will. (Where is the Disney princess who gets taken down a peg for that?) She’s not bitchy about it–yet–but is so steadfast in her belief that she will be famous and fabulous. I hope she makes it; I’ll support her as long as she’s not running over anyone in the process. But I am going to chalk this one up to NATURE, not NUTURE. Because where the hell did that come from?