I have a lot of stuff swirling around in my head, but can’t act on most of it. To wit: it is too early to shop/cook for AM’s birthday dinner (next Sunday). It is too early to pack for Pesach. Or to even wrap my head around how tricky that will be, seeing as how it will be five days at my in-laws’ in New York (will we have even cracked 65 degrees?) and then 12 days in Israel, where I am sure it is already scorching. I will spare you my bathing suit crisis because it would make you all hate me.

But anyway, the thing that is stressing me out the most is not how the kids will acclimate to a totally foreign climate, a seven-hour time difference, new foods, and being hauled all over the country to see people and sights. Rather, it is how we will survive the plane ride. When chichimama returned from London, I did not ask her about the charms of London or how the kids did with traveling in general. No. I rather breathlessly emailed to ask about the plane flights–a mere 15 hours worth of her entire vacation.

Usually when I have things tumbling around in my brain it manifests as insomnia. I toss and turn; I can’t get comfortable. Hours pass. Sometimes I just can’t bring myself to go to bed, although I am physically exhausted, because I don’t want to just lie there waiting for sleep to arrive.

But I am so crazed about one aspect of the trip that it’s invaded my dreams. I had a vivid one a few weeks ago. The four of us were in the airport, taking one of those peoplemover cart thingies to the gate. Taxman took the kids on to the plane, leaving me with AM’s carseat and, seemingly, dozens of small bags, spilling over with toys and books. I somehow managed to gather everything and haul it on to the plane, which looked oddly like a conference room. I dropped everything at Taxman’s feet and started ticking off what we had…then realized that in our obsessive race to get everything done for the kids, we had forgotten to pack our clothes. The true crux of the dream, however, was when I turned to him and said, ”Oh, oh, oh!!!!! I don’t have snacks!”

Yes, we are an army that travels on its stomach. AM expects a snack in the car from the second he’s strapped in. I have an array of relatively healthy snacks that travel well: Cheerios, raisins, dried cranberries, pretzels, crackers, string cheese, steamed baby carrots, grapes (although I have been trying not to buy the imported ones), apple slices, bananas, popcorn, animal crackers, and even slices of bread. That would be plenty for a 12-hour plane flight.

Let us edit that list for Pesach, however: Cheerios, raisins, dried cranberries, pretzels, crackers, string cheese, steamed baby carrots, grapes, apple slices, bananas, popcorn, animal crackers, and even slices of bread. Not so good. Perhaps New Yorkers have read of the Tam Tam travesty?  No?  It was covered in the Times! Tam Tams are matzah crackers with additions of salt and (I’m guessing) palm oil. The makers of Tam Tams were waiting on a new piece of baking equipment that did not arrive in a timely way…so now we’re all screwed, essentially. We’re also taking my Pesach brownies and small bags of Pesach potato chips. And macaroons, which probably only I will eat. But really, this will gnaw at me until we are safely on the other side of the ocean.

Because I can assure you that, just as in my dream, shelves full of peanut M&Ms in the airport newsstand will not be able to save us.